


Netha

by from2to7



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, First work - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, eventually, hello i got bored and i wrote something, i take all criticism, i was supposed to be doing homework but here we are, reciprocated love, this is just a fictional twist on a real story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13948356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/from2to7/pseuds/from2to7
Summary: Sometimes, you fall in love all at once.Thena didn’t realize she was jealous until it mattered.





	Netha

**Author's Note:**

> hey. first work! go ahead and give me all the constructive and destructive criticism. spite is my only motivation. i was supposed to do some essay writing but instead i got this thing.
> 
> enjoy!!

Thena held her knees to her chest, hugging them tighter with each breath growing shallower. Her heart ached for her best friend who was infatuated with the girl who sat in front of them in economics. The girl, Nadia, didn’t seem to notice Ethan’s eyes on her. Thena never tried to do anything, for she wanted her best friend’s happiness more than her own, more than she could provide for Ethan. If that meant she would give Ethan to Nadia, then so be it.

The flowers came over winter break. Hanahaki was notorious for how painful of a disease it was, where flowers sprouted in one’s bronchi and would bloom if one’s unrequited love was too strong. Sometimes, the infected would cough up the blossoms and bleed to death or suffocate. The only cures were to get surgery, move on, or confess one’s love and live if it turns out reciprocated. How… devastating, for such a beautiful disease that stems from pain.

Thena and Ethan talked as normal. They texted, had video calls, and chatted over coffee (even if he didn’t like coffee). But no matter how often Thena attempted to avert her eyes, she could never deny the faraway look in Ethan’s. She knew, of course, his mind would often wander to Nadia no less. Thena never saw what Ethan would stare at, but she never tried to either. Her heart would ache too much before she would understand infatuation, because who deserved Ethan’s love if not her? She couldn’t help but be bitter, the very same as the taste of the petals she hastily tried to gulp back down.

“How do you always order the same drink every time we come to this cafe?” Ethan laughed loudly in their metal seats. “Do you never get bored?”

Thena looked at him bemusedly. “No? Because I like how they make their caramel lattes here, do yo-” The petals floated lightly into her latte sitting between her and Ethan. Thena looked shocked, and checked for his reaction quickly before trying again, “do you have a problem?”

“No,” Ethan sighed. His head was turned toward the street when when she asked, but he quickly noticed the petals’ presence. “Flower petals, huh? What an interesting addition to their garnishing choices,” Ethan chuckled. “I wouldn’t say it’s quite spring, yet, would you?”

Thena laughed, “No, not quite yet, but these are pretty.”

Ethan studied them for a moment. “Chrysanthemum.”

“Hm?”

“They mean ‘friendship’.” Ethan looked up at her. “Now why on earth would you be eating flowers? I never pegged you as a rabbit.”

At that, Thena snorted. “I hear chrysanthemum tea tastes delightful,” she lied. Her thoughts creeped up on her before she could stop them. “Hanahaki,” they whispered, “confess now and get it over with.” She ignored them and picked the petals out of her latte.

Ethan grinned at her, interrupting her train of thought. “Bad habits die hard, hm?”

And with that, Thena sipped her latte with a sad smile even Ethan couldn’t see.

\---

Thena couldn’t stop watching their interactions. Ethan and Nadia seemed to get along, bonding over music. Thena hated it. She never wanted to give up on Ethan, but he never looked at her, never how she wanted. She threw up more chrysanthemums, but the selection expanded to primroses, daisies, and aster. She tried to move on. Oh, how she tried to move on. The seasons had switched over.

\---

“We’re dating!” Thena exclaimed upon seeing Ethan. “Jeremiah asked me out and I said yes!” Her smile nearly blinded him.

“Is that so?” Ethan asked her amusedly. “Congratulations. Your happiness is written all over your face.”

Thena laughed, “That’s not true, silly! You can just read me like an open book!”

He didn’t object. “You’re awfully excited, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am, it’s my first boyfriend. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason. No reason at all.” She searched his face for any hint of bitterness. Thena found none.

“How are things with Nadia?”

“Awkward. We don’t have much to talk about past music and classes.”

“Ah…”

“Well don’t let me spoil your mood, go and have fun with your new boyfriend! But not too much fun!” Ethan winked at her.

Thena rolled her eyes and smiled. “Alright! And thank you!”

\---

She cried to him first.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Thena sobbed. “First Jeremiah dumped me, now Lily just leaves me? Where did I go wrong? Do they hate me now?”

Ethan rubbed her back. “They’re not right for you, and maybe you learned that the hard way, but that’s how it’s going to be.” He always knew what to say to her, whether she wanted to hear it or not. Except for one thing.

She drew silent, except for the occasional sniffle.

“Maybe some people are best left as memories,” Ethan sighed to himself.

She choked back what he thought was a sob. Thena couldn’t speak. The agapanthus in her throat wouldn’t let her.

“Please don’t let me become a memory, Thena. You mean too much to me for me to let that happen,” Ethan sighed. “I was afraid we were growing apart, but I’m glad that we didn’t.”

Thena couldn’t respond. Her eyes filled with tears again.

\---

Fiona asked Thena to be her plus one to a party. Thena was easily excitable about these kinds of social events. Especially since being a plus one meant she was special.

Ethan smiled at her warmly. “You look radiant.”

Taking a bow, she replied, “I know, thanks.” She twirled around a bit.

“Tell me how it goes!”

Thena laughed, “Of course! I’ll tell you everything!” And then, she tripped. “I’ll never get the hang of heels,” she sighed.

\---

Thena and Ethan began talking up storms all over again after the party. The flowers slowly got worse. They turned into gardenias over the weeks, and recently transformed into thorned roses as autumn continued on. She couldn’t stop coughing. Thena considered buying more red clothing. Blood would sometimes spatter over her homework if she wasn’t careful. When she mourned her unrelenting and unrequited love for Ethan, her tears were quickly outweighed by her blood.

If Ethan knew, he’d never forgive himself. But he didn’t. Thena resolved to keep it that way. 

They had more video calls. He’d play her guitar and she’d hum along. Or, they’d just chat until the wee hours of the next morning. They had never had such little sleep.

One night, they talked about depression. A new perspective on it, if you will.

“You’re not allowed to die young or kill yourself,” Thena giggled, lightheaded and sleep deprived. “Stay here on this wretched Earth and we’ll grow old.” together, she added silently. She coughed lightly into her palm, feeling a small amount of blood pooling and a rose petal sticking to it. She wiped her hands on some tissue and swiftly trashed it.

“You want us to grow old together?” Ethan guffawed. “Fuck it, we may as well just date.”

Silence resonated through the call.

“Sure, if you want to,” Thena supplied helplessly. She couldn’t breathe. No way. “Are you sure, though?”

Ethan looked at her intensely. “Yes. I love you, Thena. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

Thena’s mouth quirked up. “I love you too, you big nerd.”

He grinned at her, silently urging her to continue, as if he’d known for a while.

“I don’t think I ever haven’t,” she confessed. “I’ve been in love with you for the better part of a year, and try as I might to move on, I’ve failed epically.”

Ethan went quiet. “All along, I looked at you and I never saw what I should’ve so many months ago.” He paused, averting his eyes from the monitor for a moment. “You’re everything to me. And I think that’s got something to do with the rest of my life.”

The flowers stopped that night.

He asked her out the next morning.

(This is where they fall even more in love, graduate school, finish college, get jobs, get married, have kids, and live together until they die. But that’s not how angst works, my dear children.)

\---

“What do you mean,” Ethan breathed heavily, “you’re not in love with me anymore?”

Thena closed her eyes, and whispered, “I mean exactly what I said, Ethan. We’re not teenagers anymore. We’re fully functioning adults now and I feel like this relationship has dragged on for too many years.” Her voice got louder, “Here we are together, and I’m telling you I don’t feel the same as I did when we were younger. It’s been too long.”

“That’s not how humans work,” Ethan reasoned. “You can’t just wake up one morning and go, ‘I don’t want this.’ You say we’re adults? Then act like one; talk this out with me.” His voice grew cold, but his eyes teared up and turned pleading. “Tell me what you don’t want anymore.”

Thena sighed, and looked into Ethan’s eyes. “I don’t want you anymore; I think we should break up.” Or get married, she thought, because I’m either waiting for you to leave me, love someone else, and smash my heart to pieces, or else I’ll do it. I can’t go through heartbreak, not again.

Ethan knelt down. He opened his coat, pulled out a ring, and pleaded with her, “Will you please marry me?” His hands shook, and his fingers were close to trembling and dropping the ring. He couldn’t have his love be unrequited now.

Thena looked at him. “Did you even hear what I said?”

“I did. And I know what you meant. We’re twenty-four now, that’s plenty old to settle down. So, yes, no? Not that hard of a question.”

She looked away from him. “Ethan.”

“Yes?”

“... Yes.”

“I knew it.”

And with that, she kissed him.

She wished she would never taste blood from his mouth meant for her, but there was the unmistakable metallic taste on his tongue.


End file.
